The first photo was taken 21 months ago! I was terrified, sick to my stomach, plastered on a smile because I did not want my misery to show, and I sucked in my belly and said “okay honey take the damn photo.” I chinned up and I said “show it to me now.” and I bawled. I sat on my couch and I cried my heart out. I put my face in my hands and I wept “who did I become?? Why did I totally let myself go?? Why did I stop caring about my health?! Why did I chose to eat ice cream rather than dinner? Why did I chose Beer over things that serve my body??” I hit a bottom point. 2 years of ignoring my my health led to this moment.
I looked at my husband and said “I don’t care if I am sexy for you… I want to be sexy for me babe. This isn’t fair to me. I hang my head low when I walk around, I slouch because I want to hide, and I rush passed my reflection in the window because I don’t want to catch a reflection of myself. I am desperate. I can’t live like this anymore. Im tired, I have low self esteem, low confidence, and this weight is holding me back from being the real me.” I need those tears. I needed that desperate bottom moment. I needed to stop and look at that photo and cry my eyes out. I needed to see that photo!! I had no idea what I looked like because I chose to ignore it! Sure I had a Baby 3 months before this photo was taken… however the weight was coming on well before that! The bad habits were in place and were times 10 during my pregnancy (I literally did not eat one fruit of veggie the entire time! It chose to eat Mcdonalds, Arbies, and Ben and Jerries the entire time). Everyone told me the weight would come right off after nursing and giving birth… nope!! I lost 15 lbs total after giving birth and that was it! It stopped there. It also wasn’t just about weight loss… it was about feeling better and more energized!
So from that point forward I made it a personal mission to be healthier. To make the best decisions for my growth physically and mentally. I got on a personal growth mission. I signed up for the Beachbody Challenge (First program was Chalean Extreme and Shakeology) and I cleaned up my diet. I stayed consistent. I continued to lose and gain and lose again until I figured it out, but I never gave up! And now I have a healthy mindset about my weight and about eating. Rather than late night glasses of beer and wine, I drink tea and snack on a piece of dark chocolate. Rather than eating 2 giant meals a day I eat 6 small 250-300 calorie meals that fuel my body and make me feel good. I eat a lot of veggies, protein, and fruits. I allow myself 1-2 healthy cheat meals a week (reasonable, not pigging out), and I work my butt off in the gym. I feel incredible. I have never had this much energy, and gosh darnit I love myself! I exude a confidence that my daughter can be proud of!
So take those photos, get real with yourself and get busy taking care of you so you can take care of everyone else !!!